healthy living
Article
Faith is Attractive
Presented by Suzette-The Marriage Warrior
Have you ever noticed how attractive a positive person is? Have you ever noticed how difficult it is to be “positive”, when internal struggles haunt you? When a partner within a marriage is critical or negative, the relationship will suffer. No one desires to be around a “negative Nelly”, a “nagging woman” or an “angry man”. Individuals who have a negative disposition cause loved ones to disconnect, and their partner’s turn-off desires of affection. So, what is the root of pessimistic traits?
Negativity was not God’s original design. When our Heavenly Father formed us, He created us in His image and in His likeness, which is of a good nature, rather than a critical one. This was our original state of functioning. The way humans veered away from this original design is through fearful childhood experiences. For the child to protect self from the unsafe environment, he was forced to utilize distancing behaviors in order to survive. The child’s distancing techniques were valuable in assisting in coping with the environmental chaos. However, as the individual becomes an adult, he carries with him the distancing behaviors, as well as the original fear. This combination is a recipe for destructive relationships.
The root of pessimism/negativity is fear. God identifies “fear” as a spirit, as described in 2 Tim. 1:7 “God did not give us a spirit of fear, but of love power and a sound mind”. A critical spirit is not just a phrase, but rather a description of an entity that cannot be seen. When a child develops within a fearful environment, he has to incorporate distancing behaviors to protect self from harm. However, these protective walls were built because a “spirit of fear” entered the child’s life, without the child’s permission.
To address a spirit, we have to comprehend that a supernatural entity operates with a higher and stronger power than our human capabilities. Behavioral changes initially require self-awareness. However, self-awareness alone, is insufficient when addressing an unseen spiritual force. In order to overcome a supernatural power, you must be backed by a higher supernatural power. This is where faith is introduced.
God is called the Most High, clarifying that He is the supreme being, above any and all other high powers of the enemy. Fear and faith are the same, in that, they both require belief in something unseen. Fear of the unknown, results in negative behaviors, such as anger, control, pessimism, doubt, etc…. Whereas, faith in God, builds strength, confidence, creativity and hope.
Childhood negative experiences create a weakness within an individual that doesn’t just disappear with age. The weakness occurred as fear entered to replace hope. Inwardly, the person feels robbed of hope. Internal hope was part of the original design. As hope was replaced by a foreign agent, it didn’t feel right. This is where the negativity and sickness began. The scripture confirms this weakness as it describes “hope deferred makes the heart sick” (Prov. 13:12).
Christians living with this internal weakness and negativity get confused or even condemned with scripture like… “joy is our consolation”(ps. 94:18-19) and that we should be like the “tree planted by living water”(Jer. 17:7-8). But it is unnatural to feel joy or like a watered tree when we have been robbed! So who robbed us? The spirit of FEAR did! The enemy sent the spirt of fear, knowing full well that it would make us angry and want to control things that we could not control. He knew exactly how to invade the innocent life of a child with circumstances beyond a child’s capacity to manage. He also knew that the child would bring to adulthood the spirit of fear with all of the negative behavioral results to further destroy the individual’s life.
To address the situation, one must identify where the spirit of fear entered into the childhood experiences and caused the insecurity. Next, the adult Christian can detach from the unintended childhood agreement with fear, and through Jesus, take back authority. James 4:7 says to “resist the devil and he will flee”. Resisting will take consistent effort, since the spirit has operated since childhood. However, rehearsing a scripture that contradicts the spirit of fear’s lies, can be helpful in combating through the spiritual warfare.
As these practices build your faith, you will notice behavioral changes emerging without “positive thinking” mind games. The old negative behaviors will no longer be required to protect self. As old behaviors are exchanged for new ones, the inner faith will replace fear and distancing behaviors will cease.
Satan is a thief. God knows that you have been robbed. But remember that satan is God’s enemy, not ours. He hates what God loves and works to destroy His children. Be assured that God will have the last word with what has been stolen from you. Open up heart and mind to God. Recognize that He is safe. Ask the Holy Spirit to show you how the spirit of fear has manifested through distancing behaviors. Make a declaration to the enemy that you will no longer submit to the spirit of fear. Ask God to restore hope and grant you creative ideas for your life and future. As you practice building your faith, love and compassion towards others will natural spring up within your being. This emergence will then be noticed by others. As a result, others will no longer feel pushed away but instead, will move closer towards the more “attractive” you!
WARRIOR’S WISDOM
1. Stop blaming yourself and others. Instead point your finger to the real enemy and take authority over him, through the name of Jesus.
2. Take time with God to reflect backwards. Identify the past circumstances that caused fear and insecurity.
3. Recognize that you were an innocent child who did not have any other resources and did the best you could. Forgive yourself.
4. Recognize that those around you did the best they could do with what they had. Remember that the enemy surrounded them as well. Forgive them.
5. Spend time getting to know who God really is. Replace what others have told you that make you wonder about Him and get to know how loving and good He is.
6. Locate a past memory of when you felt “unconditionally loved”. Meditate on the memory and recognize that the feeling you felt is just a tear drop of God’s love for you.
7. Recognize the adult behaviors that you are operating in that are harming relationships. Call them out within yourself. Be quick to apologize to others.
8. Changes will first begin within your inner man before they occur outwardly. Be patient with yourself.
9. Rely on the Holy Spirit to show you things unseen. Become awake.
10. Be grateful to God for sending Jesus, for it is only because He came and died that we are granted the opportunity to reverse what satan set out to do to us.